I KNOW WE'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, KID.

"Never say something about another person that you would be ashamed to have them overhear." -Stephen Covey

 

photo of me and my grandparents

 

 

 "You don't look in your neighbors bowl to make sure you have as much as them, the only time you look into your neighbors bowl is to make sure they have enough." -Unknown

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man." -C.S. Lewis

 

 

My lovely companion Sister Heninger

 

The sites have been slowing down, which has given me time to study and ponder. This week Sister Heninger and I focused our studies on pride and humility. I've come to a conclusion: PRIDE SUCKS. When I consider my many faults and weaknesses, they all seem to be rooted in pride. 

One face of pride is vanity: loving yourself, and thinking that you're the best. But another face of pride is thinking that you are important. These two faces can seem like the same thing, but they're not. You can hate how you look, and you can hate yourself, but still deem yourself as important. This is SO dangerous. 

Our thoughts being the only ones we can hear does not cause them to be the most important!!!

It's natural to be selfish, and it's natural to do what's easy. But easy doesn't get you anywhere, and more importantly, the easy path is not the path we've been asked to walk.

Pride is a form of hatred. Why would you be upset at the success of others? What causes you to consider the opinions and advice of others as invalid? Or to withhold words of encouragement or compliments that you know would lift another? Hate. I find myself easily stating that I do not hate anyone, but if I was asked if the success of another has ever affected me in a negative way I would have to say yes. And that, my friends, is hate. Pride is not a love of yourself necessarily, but it is more of a lack of love for others. It's ugly, and it destroys. If you're going to hate anything, hate hate.

Old photo of all the sisters in the Martyrdom room! 

I've also began to understand that humility does not mean thinking poorly of yourself, but rather thinking less about yourself. We are nothing. In the great scheme of things, we are very small. The sooner we accept that, the better. (Don't get me wrong, we are all of great worth...but that is because of our divine ancestry. It is because we are children of God, not because of anything we've done. Our worth does not come from us. We are nothing, and God is everything.) Another thing that I've learned about humility is that it means to be teachable. This is HUGE, and is something I've been trying to work on because I AM SOOO STUBBORN THAT I ANNOY MYSELF.

Another thing I learned this week is that "real love is a verb" I was on the computer, and I went to Mormon.org. As the page loaded I was pleasantly surprised to see JULIE HILLYARDS FACE STARING RIGHT AT ME!!!!!!!!!! SHE WAS ON THE HOMEPAGE!!!!!!!!!!! (For those who don't know, before my mish I was a nanny for Julie's children. But more than being the mother of the kids I babysat, she is one of my closest friends She's AMAZING and I have earned major bragging points for the mere fact that she knows my name.) After FREAKING OUT I proceeded to watch her "I'm a Mormon" video, and read her bio. She mentioned her blog, so I checked it out. I printed off some of the recent entries and read them when I had more time. One post was titled "Real Love is a Verb." IT HIT ME SO HARD! Feeling love for others while you lay in bed in an empty room does nothing. I am SO guilty of this it's stupid. Does music matter if sound cannot be perceived? Does love matter if nobody receives it? I don't know. Something to think about. 

Oh, that reminds me of another thing I've been thinking about this week. The phrase "make sure to make them feel loved" BUGS ME. Ah! It implies that making someone feel loved is more important than actually loving them. Like Julie said, real love is a verb. Sometimes I think we need to worry more about actually loving people instead of instead smothering them in gross love feelings. 

Another thing that's been on my mind is prayer. When we pray, are we praying to God or the people in the room? If we're praying to God, why do our prayers change when the mission president or bishop walks in the room? Prayers are not an opprotunity to show others how "spiritual" you are. Prayers are an opprotunity to talk with God, and when we pray with others it's an opprutunity to become closer to them...but it's not a show.

Okay, I know this is already stupid long, BUT ONE MORE THING. I've been thinking about flashlights. Yes, flashlights. Let me backtrack. Everything has it's opposite. Without darkness, light would not exist. You have to be in a dark room to see the exuding light from a flashlight. Then I began to realize how truly powerful light is. It replaces darkness, and the interesting thing is that darkness cannot do the same to light. You cannot pick up darkness and move it-darkness is simply the absence of light. darkness cannot penetrate light in any way. 

We are all born with both light and dark, and the only way for the dark to take over is if you lose the light. You control the darkness by controlling the light. We cannot directly control the darkness-we do not get to choose our trials, or weaknesses, or demons. BUT WE DO CONTROL THE LIGHT. And that is SO powerful. Circumstance in no way defines us when we understand the flashlight we all hold in our hands. (insert Harry Potter quote about light that I can't remember right now.) 

Well, those are some of my jumpled thoughts for this week. For all of you that skipped past that and just want the little fun highlighs of the week then gird your loins because this is what you've been waiting for:

 

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK YAY!

-MY GRANDPARENTS CAME TO VISIT ME!!!!! It was soooo amazing to see them and to be able to eat TWO meals with them! I love my family so much and I can't express the love I felt when I was able to see them! ♥

-The Young Sisters had a "sociable" which was basically this musical/testimony sharing program! We sang songs from Wicked, cried, and has a blast.

 

-Since the sites are slow, we are serving with Senior Sisters and we get to talk with them ALL DAY LONG. THEY ARE SOOOO FUN!!!! I think I have been asked everyday about if I'm writing a boy, who I want to marry, and all the boy questions in the world. IT'S SO FUNNY.

 

-Being Sister Heninger's comp is THE BEST!! We are the WEIRDEST PEOPLE EVER and it's SO FUN. Today we went to Target and Buffalo Wild Wings ♥♥♥ We heard the new Twenty One Pilots song there and FREAKED OUT.

 

-I made a TON of phone calls to members and they all are excited to do missionary work which NEVER HAPPENS! I love people and I love Member Missionary work!